Satisfaction

What is the best movie ever made? I know that is a subjective call, but unless you said Stanley Kubrick's "Barry Lyndon", you are wrong.

It is my summertime ritual to bring my TV set outside and watch this 1970s three-hour masterpiece on my terrace. It's set in the 1700s, when being a "gentleman" was taken very seriously. When one gentleman was wronged by another, or "dissed" as we would say now, he had the right, nay the obligation, to demand "satisfaction" in the form of a pistol duel in which one party would end up dead or mortally wounded.

Such was the importance of protecting one's honor.

While duels are no longer allowed, human beings continue to need and demand satisfaction when wronged or dissed. I mention this only because the need for satisfaction (or what today's shrinks might call "closure") has been behind my recent pissed off posts. Last night I finally had the opportunity to wrest some extent of "satisfaction" from C. And while I stopped short of shooting him or slapping his face (as numerous people have suggested I do) I got what I needed.

Why did I not give C. a satisfying slap, why do I not tell certain others to go to hell? In short, the answer is: community. I've always laughed when I heard that word used to refer to any group of people in New York City, where you don't know your next door neighbor's name. For instance, a "community board" here is a group of people who come together only to fight and yell at each other.

But the people who surf regularly at this beach are a true community. We are going to see each other day in and day out, even year after year. We are going to see each other in the water and on the beach and at the grocery store and in each other's backyards. We can't avoid each other, and open unresolved conflict would only create bad karma and awkwardness. For better or worse, I think we have to try to work things out. (Of course, this may only reflect the fact that I think like a woman; it's a stereotype but true that women in general strive to preserve connection at all costs.)

Oh yeah...the surfing today? The waves were small, and I felt confident, so I decided to take out an unfamiliar board. It is a little longer and has less rocker than mine. It was way easier to paddle, but I couldn't figure out where to place myself on it. I did finally manage to take off successfully but couldn't get up. I also had some not very good wipeouts. I could maybe learn that board, but it would take a few more attempts. I think I'll just stick with mine because I know it and have been doing well on it lately. Still, I'm glad I had the confidence to take out a different board, and would like to do it again.