Grandmas Gone Surfing
Fill in the blank: Surfers are...
I've been holding back on a post on the topic of surfers in general. Let us say I am more than disillusioned with more than a few people at this moment. I don't want to stereotype, but they are all surfers. The majority are men, so I was going to make it about men surfers. You know: Something like: "Guys who surf are so goddamn immature." But then a couple of women really pissed me off. So, surfers in general. Like, "Surfers are so dumb they misspell three-letter words."
OK, I don't want to go further right now, but I could really let rip. I don't want to be unfair. But the more I get to know people in this community more than superficially, the more I have these unbidden thoughts like: "Who are these people?" and "What the hell am I doing here?"
Is there anything you have been holding back, readers, anything you've been choking on saying? Are people who surf really more likely to have certain good or bad characteristics? Are the stereotypes generally true? What unbidden thoughts have you had? Come on, you can be totally anonymous. And nasty. Or funny. Fill in the blank: Surfers are...
posted by Grandma @ 7/18/2006 06:03:00 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
...people too. it takes all kinds, and it may seem like your spot is dominated by a certain kind, but they are not all shallow or bad human beings. you just have to find the spot that attracts the kind of people you want to be around.
sometimes its best not to get involved with a local crowd. i keep a distance from alot of people where i surf. texas, probably much like new york, has a small and friendly crowd of surfers that generally all know one another, this as you can imagine, leads to a shitload of drama. i stay away from that. waves are waves. surfers are surfers. i have noticed alot of stupidity in the water though... just my 2 cents
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Damian, are you a Rock local or regular? Do you know a lot of them? My policy here is not to name names and to change initials to protect the guilty.
The names aren't important. What happened was, two of the people I have been (or thought I was) closest to in our so-called community revealed their true characters in ways that were not only hurtful and excessively cruel but which genuinely shocked me...because up til now I hadn't seen that side of them. I still can't believe I really heard the words that came out of their mouths. I knew both of them were of low intelligence (so what, really) but I had no idea about their characters.
All this happened inside of three hours at the end of this incredibly long, incredibly hot summer weekend.
Let's just say both persons whom I have known a long time treated me in a way I would never treat a total stranger, let alone someone I professed to care about.
As a result of one of these people's negligence I ended my weekend in an emergency room. (Nothing to do with surfing.)The other simply broke my heart.
It's made me very cynical about the possibility of real friendship if the only thing you have in common with someone is surfing. Is liking or wanting to surf central enough to your being and your identity to be the basis of a genuine friendship? Or are we all just fair weather friends? Should we just accept this and avoid placing stresses on our relationships or asking for too much? If "aloha" means accepting people as they present themselves, what if they are not really what they claim to be?
I don't like or respect these people any longer and I'm wondering why I should go back to being "friends" with them even in a superficial way.
I've said here recently that if I quit trying to surf I would have very few friends left. Now I wonder if I would really be losing anything of value.
Making friends is something that happens naturally over a long period of time, respect is the same way, as is burn out but I digress. Not all aquaintences become friends and surf buddies are something totally different, niether the former nor the latter but more.
One of my best surf buddies drives me crazy in every other area of life, but we have this amazing closeness that has allowed us to travel together, to get really stoked for each other, and to be more intimate than friends but we are not friends (in fact he's one of the greatest guys I've ever not really liked all that much).
Hard to explain, but that's the deal. So don't take it too hard if you are not liked by everyone at the home break.
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