Sea Hags

For three days I was a wreck, then I had to get up and out of the house. I found I could be OK for short periods or at least act as if I were. Saturday I was back in the water for the first time since Tiny died. I offered up a prayer for her soul and then got a ride on the first wave I went for. It was good.

And the next day was good too. I did amazingly well.

A while back I wrote about the use of the term "Sea Hag" as a derogatory name for older women, one in particular. Sunday I got a look at the woman known around here as "Sea Hag" for the first time. She wasn't what I thought. She's younger than I am, not bad looking, not fat or ugly.

I asked one of the guys why everyone hates her. He said it's because she doesn't share waves, is territorial, has an attitude, is mean.

Well, that describes a good percentage of the 20-something male surfers on the beach, in particular many of those who live here. And all those qualities, far from making them hated, make them cool and popular in the eyes of the other guys. They are proud of being territorial and hating on people who don't live here and can't surf well, etc. etc. They are mean as shit and proud of it.

In other words, there is a sexist double standard here, and it applies tenfold to women past the age of "hot"ness. What's OK for men is put down, feared, hated in women. And no one's hated more than women past the age of sexual attractiveness who defiantly refuse to accept that they're over the hill.

Did I mention that she surfs really, really well? For any guy that skilled, whatever his age, there would be nothing but admiration, not approbation.

Older women cannot win. I'm hated because I can't surf, because I look like a bloody fool out in the water. I've often thought I would be respected if I could surf; but maybe I'd be hated even more.

Actually there's at least one other woman at our beach who surfs really well, is territorial, yells at other people, won't share waves, and is really mean; but she's young and sexy and wears bikinis, so no one calls her ugly names and she is very popular.