Buzzkill

I had a bad night's sleep, folks. Did you know that little doggies who have dog- Alzheimers wander around all night long in confusion? If they were 84-year-old humans they'd open the front door, wander two towns down and have to be brought back by the police. My dog simply walks around crashing into walls and everything else. I heard strange noises all night long. At one point she apparently knocked over the ironing board (good she didn't kill herself) and then peed on it. Such are the trials of caring for a 16 ¼- year old dog.

Does this have any relation to what transpired today in the water? I don't know.

I looked out and saw little one-foot waves, the kind I usually do well on. (I've never ridden a wave over one foot.) I was pretty confident, especially since I could see a couple of people out getting rides.

My third time out on the "new" board, I thought I'd easily figure it out in these conditions. Well, was I wrong. I don't know why, but nearly every time I tried to catch a wave, I'd see the nose start to go under; next thing I knew I was separated from the board and doing an underwater somersault, then coming up and grabbing the board before the next wave hit. I figured, OK, that tells me I need to be farther back on the board. I tried to get myself back more which was counter-intuitive; it would seem that on a longer board I should be farther forward than on my old one where I know to place my toes right on the tail. But I just couldn't figure out where to be. I guess, farther back than I ever was.

This big, heavy board is a lot harder to paddle out than a lighter one. I was getting kind of tired of the slug out, cause there were few if any lulls.

Once a wave is caught, though, the board is very fast and stable; that's why W. gave it to me. On the one wave I got correctly today, I was able to stand and ride even though I didn't get up right away; there is lots of time on this board to clamber to your feet, even using your knees (I know, I know) and still get a decent ride.

I usually don't spot-hop because it doesn't help, but today I tried three different spots and still couldn't get it. So after an hour or so, with the ratio of exhaustion to enjoyment leaning heavily towards exhaustion, I gave it up for today.

What a buzzkill; but wait, there's more.

A few of the younger (teens and early 20s) guys who are regular surfers out here make fun of me mercilessly because

A) I'm a woman
B) I can't really surf
C) I'm old enough to be their mother
D) I'm not "hot"
E)They can
F) No reason
G) All of the above.

I saw and was seen by two of the biggest assclowns today...the brothers. If you live here you know who they are.

Shortly afterwards, as I was getting out, another 20-something guy---I've never seen him before, I don't think---came up to me and started chatting in an overly friendly way. I thought he was a little weird but went along with it. It was a dumb beach conversation, leading up to "You know (Grandma), I think you're really very pretty." I started laughing my ass off, then for good measure added, "You're full of shit." I almost added that I knew he was put up to saying that by one of the assclowns, but didn't because I wasn't 100% percent certain. But later, I realized he had used my name...although I hadn't told him what it was. So I think it had to be the assclowns.