Big wave day

Today I was scheduled for another surf lesson, hoping to work on my turns. But as of 10 a.m. the waves were chest to head high, bigger than they have been in months, and the surf instructor was having too much fun to come out of the water for a lesson. We cancelled the lesson by mutual consent and she encouraged me to come out anyway even though I was daunted.

I spent about an hour hanging out in the shorebreak like an idiot while all the local good surfers---the ones you'll never see in the two foot glop---materialized as if by magic. The big sets kept coming without much of a lull and I hadn't done turtle diving for so long, I was just about paralyzed thinking I couldn't do it. I kept telling myself to just try it on the small insiders to build confidence, but it was so shallow there I was actually scared of banging my head on the bottom of the ocean, as stupid as that sounds. Is it stupid not to want to go underneath your surfboard and get pounded by a wave in two feet of water? Finally I got cold and came in for a while. I was so demoralized I had a bit of a cry. But I couldn't let myself give up.

I went back to the house to get a wetsuit and some water, came back out and it was a whole new ballgame. The sun had come out and the waves had gone down a notch, or so it seemed. Just like that. I had no trouble getting out now and everything looked different with the sun on it. The waves were now within my comfort level (on the high end.) I caught one, didn't get up, went back out, a little struggle but now I remembered my turtle dives. Turns out these were fake out waves that weren't as big as they looked. By now the cell phone calls from the beach had resulted in 25 people in the lineup. When I got a good wave there were four people in my way, but somehow they got out of the way and I was able to stand up and get a good ride. Four hours after I first hit the beach, my confidence was restored. Of course, by that time I was so exhausted I had to go in.